I MADE IT! Every week is a new milestone. Every day is an achievement. As I’ve been “going into labor” since I was 28 weeks pregnant, the last seven weeks have felt unbelievably terrifying.
And now? I am 35 DAYS away from my due date! I am within sight of the goal. And if I DO go into labor early, I will feel so much better about it than I would have any time before now.
This morning, I hopped out of bed (after a lovely cuddle with Dexter) to take my weekly bump photo. And all I could think was – “Wow. This is really gonna happen.”
I mean, I know it’s a bit silly given that I’m nearly full term with my SECOND child, but it only occurred to me a few nights ago that I will be bringing a baby HOME soon. I mean, I knew I’d be HAVING a baby, but it just hit me like a ton of bricks that it will be MY baby. That my little man will be held in my arms and fed by my breasts and brought to my house for ME to look after forever. This is MY BABY!
I guess I remember having a similar reaction as I got close to Dexter’s due date, but it seems silly to have had it again with a second baby. It wasn’t even two years ago that I was going through this, so why does it all feel so new and different!?
This week has been as hard as the previous ones, but somehow it’s also felt better. I’m still unbelievably ill. It’s been about six weeks of non-stop sickness. When my OB gave me new antibiotics last week, I was hopeful I’d FINALLY see some big improvements. But sadly, the bronchitis seems to have morphed into something else now (or something additional anyway!). My sinuses have become infected, leading to a LOT of green snot and a constant headache, ear ache, and throat ache. My nose is constantly stuffy, despite taking Tylenol Sinus religiously. Nothing is hitting it.
And on top of all of this, the last few days have seen a recurrence of morning sickness. Poor Mark has cleaned up more puke than a full time nurse. I’m often too weak to make it to the bathroom in time, and though I try to keep a plastic bag with me at all times, it doesn’t always work out. Mark is truly my saving grace. He has cleaned more stains out of the carpet than a professional. And he never ever complains or makes me feel bad or tries to shame me for being a grown woman who can’t take care of herself.
Probably the most annoying thing of the last week (though it’s been happening for longer) is the fact that my constant coughing and vomiting has led to quite a few instances of me wetting myself. :( I have to wear pads in my underwear at all times because I simply cannot control the spray of wee that lets loose when I’m coughing so hard. It worries me because I have been doing kegel exercises since my last pregnancy. I worry that this is the start of incontinence. And with birth just around the corner, I anticipate further problems that will take a lot of effort to overcome.
Ah the joys of pregnancy.
Today would normally be my weekly NST appointment, but for some reason they didn’t book me in. It’s like a brief holiday from doctors, and I am actually really pleased. Next week, though, I have TWO appointments.
In the morning, I see my normal OB who will test me for Group B Streptococcus, a problem that could be life threatening to the baby if not caught and treated during labor. Given my history of infections and the various issues I’ve been having, it would not really surprise me if I test positive for this. If I do, it may up my chances of having a Caesarean, and it will certainly mean antibiotics via IV in labor. This possibility really does worry me due to the implications for a newborn. And as the baby is smaller than he should be, I worry about his fitness at the best of times. If he was to have GBS, the results could be seriously bad. I can only hope that the test is negative and I won’t have to worry about it.
In the afternoon, I will be seeing my High Risk OB who will be doing the scan which will determine how baby is growing and whether or not immediate induction is necessary. Since he is very small already, I have been eating extra and drinking nutritional shakes all week in an effort to bulk the little guy up. He is so active inside of me, which gives me hope. I like to think that he is strong and ready to take on anything. But next week will determine the final stages of this pregnancy.
At the end of the day, this week has been good. I have rested a lot more than usual due to Dex being in daycare. And I have felt more in control of my health by eating well and adding the extra calories. I have taken lots of soothing baths and enjoyed some downtime.
I can’t wait to be able to celebrate making it to week 36! Here’s hoping!